WINNER!

 

I MAY BE A WINNER!

Our children will remember how daddy would always enter the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes even though I knew odds were quite long. According to Wikipedia “as of June 2020, the odds of winning "$5,000 a Week for Life" were 1 in 6.2 billion. To put that in perspective, the world's population is 7.7 billion”. But, it only cost one stamp to enter, so risk-reward factor was good. Actually won something about 40 years back – a scissors set, of which we still have one pair.

Over the years in my many entries only bought a few CDs. Entering at all, of course, was my first mistake; buying something my fatal error. Know a bit about mail order promo, and even with mass production it has to cost from fifty-cents to a dollar to get that entry into my hand. And, they have to send out a million or so to get that cost break. Because of cost factors, if you don’t send them back often enough they’ll drop you from the mailing list. Not sending them back is why I hadn’t gotten my fair share of chances to win last couple of years.

Ever wonder why it’s called Publishers Clearing House when (a) they sell a lot of stuff and (b) all anybody knows about them is they are the Win-A-100-Million-Bucks guys?

Remember magazines – printed on paper, came in mail once a month? There was once a real market for them. One of mine and Matthew’s first jobs was selling subscriptions door-to-door. He, at least, was good at it. PCH began in 1953 as a way to sell magazines using direct mail (junk mail to you and I) to reach more homes cost effectively (Rule #1 – Follow the Money!).

Direct mail works. If it didn’t junk mail would have ceased to show up in mailboxes fifty years ago. Success meant expansion, with TV promotions and sweepstakes coming in 1967. As interest in magazines faded additional items were added. It worked! More people would buy more stuff if you just presented it right (i.e. the con). Because of this success prize money got bigger and bigger. That’s how, as of last year it got to $5,000 a week for life.

At risk of getting into the marketing ‘weeds’ of this, most entrants are older and winnings are necessarily what they appear (us old people’s ‘for life’ ain’t what it used to be). But, these sweepstakes are controlled by federal and state law, and somebody can win. If I happen to get the one and only mailer which includes the winning number, and if I send it in, I may well be a winner. In the marketing genre we call folks who don’t get the golden ticket the ‘mark’.

In my own defense my mother got me hooked on the sweepstakes opium. She entered every one that came in her mail. And, as it was with older folk (not me), she really thought she’d have to buy something to win. Sometimes wished she’d left me all those cassette tapes. Ultimately I entered for the same reason as my mother, hoped to be able to provide for my kids.

Somewhere while making other plans life happened. The kids grew up, made their own lives, and not sure a lot of money would make them better people. If I won now might do what #2 son Nathan once told me he’d do: Set up a grant program to provide money for any graduate of local high schools to help them ‘escape’ Brazil Indiana.

A few years back I quit returning the “you may be a winner” mailings. In time they quit coming. Until now.

In this weeks mail came an “ALERT: Time Sensitive” notice that my “name has been authorized for processing on the Winner Selection list”! I could now go on-line and enter without a stamp! Even has an Activation Code so they will know which mailer is getting best response. The most interesting element about this mailer to me is the cost factor. It’s almost a ‘cold’ solicitation for new customers, and it can’t have cost more than fifteen-cents to print and mail 1-million pieces.

If I enter this time, PCH will want an e-mail address. Because of much reduced cost factors this means I’ll get a LOT more junk mail than ever got in snail-mail. But, hey, what else have I got to do but delete spam? Maybe I should enter? I mean, you know, after all, the cost factor is in my favor; my mother would be so proud; would enjoy kids rolling their eyes and saying ‘daddy’s at it again’. And, who knows, I may be a winner!

If you don’t hear from me for a while, I may be in the Cayman Islands.