You Know
This blog was first published on Brazil Times
website June 9 2009. Since then I’ve
heard a story, possibly antidotal, that the Civil War General Thomas
“Stonewall” Jackson would leave the room if someone said “you know” more than
once. Sometimes I’d like to do that, too,
you know.
Recently there was a
documentary series on area PBS stations entitled “World War II: Behind Closed
Doors.” The portrayal of Russian
dictator Joseph Stalin was quite good.
Apparently Stalin smoked a pipe, which reminded me I once thought that
when I got old enough I’d grow a beard and smoke a pipe. Of course when I thought that, “old” was age
thirty. I did grow the beard (another
fascinating story I’m sure), but never quite got around to the pipe thing. It’s not only the cost of tobacco, but Kay
would have killed me long ago.
The thing about smoking a
pipe, as the portrayal of Stalin demonstrated, is that having to re-light every
few minutes gives you time to think of an answer. As I don’t smoke a pipe I tend to give
answers before taking time to think about it.
Surely I’m not the only person on earth who has this problem.
Talking before thinking leads
to “mental crutches.” These crutches,
used too often as they are, can get to be very irritating. I recently saw a list of 10 of the Most Irritating
Phrases in English.
It’s a good enough list as
lists go, but it missed the obvious: You
Know.
The reader (and editor) will
note this phrase is included here without the “?” mark. That is because it is never clear whether the
speaker has in mind an interrogative or inquisition.
My introduction to “You Know”
occurred almost [now 60] years ago – the issue has been around that long.
The teacher’s name was Mr.
Little. He was about 5’4” tall and [his
words] “a Negro from Boston
Massachusetts ”. It was a speech class and I was the only
white student. He did mention I was the
most natural speaker in the class, but that was just his opinion.
One day Mr. Little stopped
someone in the middle of their talk and demanded in words I never forgot: “Why do
you say ‘you know’? If I knew you
wouldn’t have to tell me!” He then
proceeded to tell all of us how ignorant it sounded to use such mental
crutches. Think about what you are going
to say first he taught us. What he said
next to his “Negro” students, which I will not attempt to repeat here and do
not recall exactly, might cause a hate crime indictment today. But, it was 1959 and there was only one white
student in the class.
In this same tirade he got
into the other mental crutch Mr. Little hated, “in other words”. “Why
didn’t you say it right the first time?”
Never did learn to smoke a
pipe. But over the years I’ve found it
is much safer to stop and write out one’s thoughts before expressing them. This gives time to think and re-think exactly
how something should be said. It also
gives Kay time to tell me that none of it makes any sense.
In other words, sometimes I
do wish I had a pipe to gnaw on before I open my mouth, you know.
David L. Lewis is
an observer of and sometimes commentator on life who may be reached via e-mail
at thedaddy1776@gmail.com
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