Legacy to Leave
by the not yet ‘late’ David L Lewis
And Jacob called unto his sons, and said: “Gather yourselves together, that I may tell you that which shall befall you in the latter days. Assemble yourselves, and hear, ye sons of Jacob; and hearken unto Israel your father.” Genesis 49.1-3 ASV
If you are reading this it means the writer is alive and well! Okay, okay, alive. However, the content herein seemed fitting conclusion to what turned out to be an eight installment dissertation on finding out what I think about our five children and my self-adopted honorary daughters.
Let me start with a brief description of each ‘favorite child’ (favorite being whichever one I am with at the moment). As I have often said, a more diverse group of individuals would be hard to find on a big city jury.
Kenneth: The kindest heart. If needed he’ll do anything for you within his power.
Nathan: Knew the most. Only did one really stupid thing in his too short life.
Matthew: Probably child with highest IQ, therefore one about whom I most worry.
Susan: By unanimous verdict the smartest one in family and our ‘natural leader’.
Benjamin: Best balanced of the bunch. He became what I wanted me to become.
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Being of reasonably sound mind and somewhat ‘flaky’ health, and having absolutely no earthly assets to bequest, I leave for consideration this my legacy – most of which, being old and getting senile, I may have mentioned once or twice before.
Axioms for Rearing Children
My father’s Rule #1 is also mine: “My children are here at my invitation, by an act of my will; and I will treat each child with the same respect given any honored guest in my home”.
I let my children make the choices and take risk commensurate with their ability to accept the consequences of that choice (as long as the consequences wouldn’t hurt them).
The perceptions of a child are the perceptions of a child. Those perceptions may not be reality, but they are the perception of that child. Find out what those perceptions are before assuming some other.
If it is important to the child, it is important. It may not be as important as the child perceives, but it is important because it is important to the child.
They have an advocate in me -- no matter what they did, no matter what happened, I “will defend you to the death”.
Will not tell them how to live their life, impose unsought advice, nor solve problems not given me.
What I Hope For My Children
That they Know each other –- even with all the faults their father refuses to see. There are fifteen years between birth of oldest and youngest. My father once told me he didn’t know his oldest brother until they were grown. This I did not want for our five.
That they know they are each loved and appreciated individually by their father and our Father; and that their father was proud of each one. Not just because they they are my child; but that I love each one because God chose them for Kay and I. For reasons each ought understand, I vowed some eight years back never again would any one of them walk out the door without my reminding them that their father loves them. As I once told one of my favorite children, if they didn’t know their father loved them my whole life would be a loss and a waste, with no legacy to leave.
theDaddy!
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