My Beautiful Becky

Love Letters of A Beautiful Woman

Dedicated to those who might remember, and to those who ought to know the story.

is the description of a beautiful Christian woman I once learned from a true man of God: “Everything about her dress, everything about her decorum, everything about her demeanor draws attention to Jesus”.

Her name was Rebecca Grimes. She was a beautiful Christian woman. I would always think of her as “my Becky”. If you did not know my Becky, you have missed one of the great honors a loving heavenly Father can bestow on a mere man.

It was the second Sunday of August, 1996. We’d only begun attending Christ Community Church. There was this beautiful young woman, had no idea who she was. One thing was obvious, she was in love with the young man she was with. There are few things more attention grabbing than a woman in love, nothing more obvious. The word came to me, “watch this life and see what I will do with it.”

We stayed at CCC because I knew we’d been called to Brazil IN to be part of His church here. But also because I wanted to watch and see what happened to that beautiful young woman. It took me a while to find out who she was, that the young man was her husband of five years when we met. For reasons I did not understand at first, it took her a couple of years to accept I wanted nothing from her. She finally saw I asked only to love her as being what we later agreed to call “my daughter in the Lord”. A day came much too soon when told I was the only loving father she’d ever known other than her heavenly Father.

Recently Kay found a Christmas newsletter from the Grimes family dated December 2001. My Becky was just beginning what would be her last war on cancer. As such things happened, this was about the time my own much less serious struggle with my heart was beginning. As was typical with her, she became more concerned with my health than I could have ever expected.

About the time of this Christmas newsletter Sean and Becky began to e-mail to church members updates on her declining health. She and I began exchanging messages. Somehow, after three computers and one crashed hard drive, I found my collection of those messages. With intentional editing and thoughtful redacting, some from those letters from a beautiful woman are reproduced below.

On March 21 2004, at age 32, mother of two children under six, my Becky passed. We were told singing praises to the Father as she left us. The line for visitation at the church stretched outside the building.

Her name was Rebecca Grimes. She was a beautiful Christian woman. I would always think of her as “my Becky”. If you did not know my Becky, you have missed one of the great honors a loving heavenly Father can bestow on a mere man.

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e-mails from and to my Becky [edited and redacted for continuity and privacy]

May 2, 2002

Becky to church re: biopsy results

For those of you that do not know, I had a biopsy last Friday. Tests came back today show it is cancer again. I should have a lot more tests next week to show if the cancer is localized or has spread even further. We don't know anything yet of what the doctors will decide to do. Where the cancer is, I already had radiation in that area in January of 2001. So, I don't believe that I can have radiation again because the risks outweigh the benefits.
May 23, 2002

Becky to church re: Update on Becky

[After several paragraphs detailing drugs and treatments]
Like I said before, we have a hard decision to make. Please be praying for us as we decide what to do in this situation and we are still praying for a total healing.
In God's hands,
Becky Grimes

May 27, 2002

my e-mail to Becky

my dear "first adopted child in Indiana",
I still keep your pictures beside my bed because I've always sensed there would be a great battle over you.  I wish I could tell you the outcome, but battles are not like that.

Becky’s reply

David

The outcome is that we all get to go to heaven, we just don't know when. We are praying for a total healing. I know that God doesn't want us to be sick. I am just holding onto the healing scriptures everyday. We get a total healing at this stage and there would be no denying that it was a miracle.

Thank you for all your prayers,
Becky

November 2, 2002

Becky to church

Hello all,

  I had an appointment yesterday with my oncologist and he thinks cancer is coming back in the area where it disappeared on my chest. So, we are going to have to switch chemo therapies once again. I will have a two week break in between treatments to give me a rest and let the most recent chemo get out of my system.

June 23 2003

my e-mail to Becky

My dear daughter in the Lord,

  I was thinking about you and what I'd said about the pressure people put on us to do things we're not comfortable with.  I remembered some advise I received many years ago and which has always helped, on those rare occasions I've both remembered and followed it.  "Follow Peace"

Her reply

Hello and thank you for your advice. "Follow Peace", what a wonderful phrase and you are the second one from our church to tell me this, so I consider it straight from the Lord.

  I still hold on to what you told us a couple of years ago about this fight with cancer being nothing, but the real test will be about Samuel [their son]... I look forward to seeing what happens of this in years to come. I know God gave Samuel to us for a reason, but really he is not ours to keep just to train. I just have to keep on trusting Jesus for everything in our lives.

October 13, 2003

from my e-mail to my our family

Given I'm having almost constant "discomfort" in my chest, and can't seem to stay out of ER's, I'm not sure whether the [planned] tests or the crisis will come first...  I'll be sixty [tomorrow], which is ten years longer than my father lived.

her reply

Thank you so much for including me in your update. We will be definitely be praying for you everyday because prayer works!!!!!!! We love you and if you need anything at all (meals, house cleaned, someone to run errands, etc.), just give us a call.

October 27 2003

from e-mail to Becky

 I remember a woman I met once who ran a sheltered workshop at which I was doing some consulting work. I told her I was a little self-conscious about how solicitous about my leg problem were people much more disabled than I. She said, “No one else’s pain can make your own any less.” The logical outcome of this would be that if someone else’s pain could resolve our own, all we would need to do is find the poor sucker with the most pain of all.

Becky’s reply

David,

 I pray you are feeling better today. I was [awaken] Saturday morning with the urge to pray for you, probably around 5am. So of course I did pray for you. It was nice to get your e-mail so that I know what to pray for you and also for your brother [Terry]. If you or Kay need any help, let me know. I am feeling MUCH better this week!!!! Praise God! A week ago today I was needing two pain pills (Darvoset) at night and now for the last three days I have been pain medication free!!!! So, if Kay needs a break from cooking I can always bring over a pot of chicken and noodles or a pot pie. Just let me know.

My reply

My dear daughter in the Lord,

 It is amazing to me that you'd think of me when you have such problems of your own.  I believe you are in the truest sense a Christian Lady. 

 November 12, 2003

from e-mail to family by Kay

  David went to Union Hospital Saturday with chest pain, Cath is scheduled for Tuesday. Either they did not do enough the last time, the existing stint may be a problem or something unforeseen is causing more pain.  

  We covet and give thanks for your prayers.

 Kay

Becky’s reply

Kay,

 Thank you for letting me know what is going on and how to pray. I find it very interesting that David and I were in "surgery" at the exact time on Tuesday.

 December 23,2003

my e-mail to Becky

My dearest child,

  Yesterday you asked whether the Holy Spirit has given me any further word about your family.  Always take care about seeking only visible good from a loving heavenly Father through whose permissive will comes all we experience.

Recognize, also, we live in a physical world, bound by time and space.  But He operates in a spiritual universe.  None of us can understand His Rhema word until willing to see spiritual truth and meaning -- wherever that takes us.

  That said, all I can speak is what I believe the Lord gave me last night concerning you: John 11.4, “When Jesus heard that, he said, ‘This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby’”.

Becky’s reply

David,

It is so good to hear from you because I was worried about Sean putting you in your car on Sunday. Are you feeling better? I really didn't want him to let you drive off like that, but he told me that we were both a lot alike. He called it stubborn. Ahh, we should rebel, but he is probably right.

  When I asked you on Sunday about what God had told you. I guess I was just confused. I remember about a month ago when I came into your store and you told me to ask Pastor Tim about what God had told you about our situation. I guess that I was kind of confused because I didn't know if you had the same word that you had 3 1/2 years ago or if this was something new. Since you wouldn't tell me in the store, I just assumed it was something new that you didn't want to share with me at that time.

  I just wanted to thank you again so much for that scripture and I will treasure it. I know God can totally heal me at any time. I am sure that you understand it is hard when you are in pain. I have been having a lot of pain since last Friday afternoon. God is the only one who can get me through this. It was all I could do to get up on stage on Sunday. I felt like I didn't do a good job because I was so out of my head. I didn't even practice once what I was going to say before I even went up there. That is not like me at all. I had a rough outline, but was hoping to be totally led by the Holy Spirit in what to say. I hope something understandable came out of it and if anything I did project peace to everyone.

  Have a great Christmas and don't overdue it. That could be a message to both of us.

My reply to Becky

Don't worry too much about my heart problem.  I've pretty much learned my limits and what I can do….

What I told Tim was the Sunday you missed church due to pain (something I did not know at the time).  I told him I'd asked the Lord what about your situation would bring glory to Him -- illness, death, healing?  The very strong answer I received immediately was "her faithfulness."  Tim mentioned this in his sermon that morning and I assumed he would tell you how you are glorifying God.

 Becky’s reply 

Thanks for your words. Pastor Tim didn't tell me that. Actually, we both don't talk to one another very much. I think it is because we are both quite people at heart and would rather go through life in the shadows. I will be faithful to God no matter what. I hope that I am glorifying God in it, but would you believe that there are still people in our own family that still haven't given their lives to Christ? I try my hardest, but no matter what I go through, they still are stubborn when it comes to giving anything to God. I guess all I can do is just keep praying for their salvation and witnessing to them as best I can.

 February 2, 2004

my e-mail to Becky

My beloved daughter in the Lord,

  Sorry I didn't get to talk to you yesterday.  It occurred to me since that it is unfortunate men are not allowed to chose their daughters and sons-in-law.  You and Sean would certainly be on my list.

Becky’s reply

David,

  We love you too. I guess since you included Sean on your list too that you are actually coming to the point of accepting him then. Ha Ha. He has been wonderful this week. Really pray for Sean because he has been having to deal with so much lately since I haven't been feeling very good. Thank goodness that Rockville Elementary School let him have a couple of weeks off to take care of everything.  

  You would probably find it hard to believe... I don't have a very good relationship with [my father]. Sean had to finally say something to my Dad to even get him to hug me or even say he loved me. So, my dad is coming around lately. What can I say, but that I came from a very unemotional family whose grandparents went through the Depression. I sometimes wonder if totally understand how much God loves me because I never got that at home. I know that they loved me, but it just was never said or shown. I try not to project what I grew up with on God, but it is hard. I know that other people had a lot worse that I did growing up...

I have asked Sean why he seems to be much more stable than I am with emotions... His mother showered him with love that is for sure. It was very hard when I married into his family. I often thought, who in the world are these people who hug and kiss each other?

  Well, this e-mail went on way more than I thought it would. Sorry about going on and on. Just know that we love you both very much. We will just have to settle with ‘daughter in the Lord’ for my title. How are you doing this week?

 It was the last time I heard from my Becky, for now.

More of her story at https://www.thebraziltimes.com/story/1238009.html