Love
Letters of A Beautiful Woman
Dedicated to those who might remember,
and to those who ought to know the story.
is the description of a beautiful
Christian woman I once learned from a true man of God: “Everything
about her dress, everything about her decorum,
everything about her demeanor draws attention to Jesus”.
Her name was Rebecca Grimes. She was
a beautiful Christian woman. I would always think of her as “my
Becky”. If you did not know my Becky, you have missed one of the
great honors a loving heavenly Father can bestow on a mere man.
It was the second Sunday of August,
1996. We’d only begun attending Christ Community Church. There
was this beautiful young woman, had no idea who she was. One thing
was obvious, she was in love with the young man she was with. There
are few things more attention grabbing than a woman in love, nothing
more obvious. The word came to me, “watch this life and see
what I will do with it.”
We stayed at CCC because I knew we’d
been called to Brazil IN to be part of His church here. But also
because I wanted to watch and see what happened to that beautiful
young woman. It took me a while to find out who she was, that the
young man was her husband of five years when we met. For reasons I
did not understand at first, it took her a couple of years to accept
I wanted nothing from her. She finally saw I asked only to love her
as being what we later agreed to call “my daughter in the Lord”.
A day came much too soon when told I was the only loving father
she’d ever known other than her heavenly Father.
Recently Kay found a Christmas
newsletter from the Grimes family dated December 2001. My Becky was
just beginning what would be her last war on cancer. As such things
happened, this was about the time my own much less serious struggle
with my heart was beginning. As was typical with her, she became
more concerned with my health than I could have ever expected.
About the time of this Christmas
newsletter Sean and Becky began to e-mail to church members updates
on her declining health. She and I began exchanging messages.
Somehow, after three computers and one crashed hard drive, I found my
collection of those messages. With intentional editing and
thoughtful redacting, some from those letters from a beautiful woman
are reproduced below.
On March 21 2004, at age 32, mother of
two children under six, my Becky passed. We were told singing
praises to the Father as she left us. The line for visitation at the
church stretched outside the building.
Her name was Rebecca Grimes. She was
a beautiful Christian woman. I would always think of her as “my
Becky”. If you did not know my Becky, you have missed one of the
great honors a loving heavenly Father can bestow on a mere man.
***********************************************************************
e-mails
from and
to
my
Becky
[edited
and redacted for continuity and privacy]
May
2, 2002
Becky
to church re: biopsy results
For
those of you that do not know, I had a biopsy last Friday. Tests came
back today show it is cancer again. I should have a lot more tests
next week to show if the cancer is localized or has spread even
further. We don't know anything yet of what the doctors will decide
to do. Where the cancer is, I already had radiation in that area in
January of 2001. So, I don't believe that I can have radiation again
because the risks outweigh the benefits.
May 23, 2002
Becky
to church re: Update on Becky
[After
several paragraphs detailing drugs and treatments]
Like I
said before, we have a hard decision to make. Please be praying for
us as we decide what to do in this situation and we are still praying
for a total healing.
In God's hands,
Becky Grimes
May
27, 2002
my
e-mail to Becky
my
dear "first adopted child in Indiana",
I still
keep your pictures beside my bed because I've always sensed there
would be a great battle over you. I wish I could tell you the
outcome, but battles are not like that.
Becky’s reply
David
The
outcome is that we all get to go to heaven, we just don't know when.
We are praying for a total healing. I know that God doesn't want us
to be sick. I am just holding onto the healing scriptures everyday.
We get a total healing at this stage and there would be no denying
that it was a miracle.
Thank
you for all your prayers,
Becky
November
2, 2002
Becky
to church
Hello
all,
I
had an appointment yesterday with my oncologist and he thinks cancer
is coming back in the area where it disappeared on my chest. So, we
are going to have to switch chemo therapies once again. I will have a
two week break in between treatments to give me a rest and let the
most recent chemo get out of my system.
June
23 2003
my
e-mail to Becky
My
dear daughter in the Lord,
I
was thinking about you and what I'd said about the pressure people
put on us to do things we're not comfortable with. I remembered
some advise I received many years ago and which has always helped, on
those rare occasions I've both remembered and followed it. "Follow
Peace"
Her
reply
Hello
and thank you for your advice. "Follow Peace", what a
wonderful phrase and you are the second one from our church to tell
me this, so I consider it straight from the Lord.
I
still hold on to what you told us a couple of years ago about this
fight with cancer being nothing, but the real test will be about
Samuel [their son]... I look forward to seeing what happens of
this in years to come. I know God gave Samuel to us for a reason, but
really he is not ours to keep just to train. I just have to keep on
trusting Jesus for everything in our lives.
October
13, 2003
from
my e-mail to my our family
Given
I'm having almost constant "discomfort" in my chest, and
can't seem to stay out of ER's, I'm not sure whether the [planned]
tests or the crisis will come first... I'll be sixty
[tomorrow], which is ten years longer than my father lived.
her
reply
Thank
you so much for including me in your update. We will be definitely be
praying for you everyday because prayer works!!!!!!! We love you and
if you need anything at all (meals, house cleaned, someone to
run errands, etc.), just give us a call.
October
27 2003
from
e-mail to Becky
I
remember a woman I met once who ran a sheltered workshop at
which I was doing some consulting work. I told her I was a
little self-conscious about how solicitous about my leg problem were
people much more disabled than I. She said, “No one else’s
pain can make your own any less.” The logical outcome of this
would be that if someone else’s pain could resolve our own, all we
would need to do is find the poor sucker with the most pain of all.
Becky’s
reply
David,
I
pray you are feeling better today. I was [awaken] Saturday morning
with the urge to pray for you, probably around 5am. So of course I
did pray for you. It was nice to get your e-mail so that I know what
to pray for you and also for your brother [Terry]. If you or Kay need
any help, let me know. I am feeling MUCH better this week!!!! Praise
God! A week ago today I was needing two pain pills (Darvoset) at
night and now for the last three days I have been pain medication
free!!!! So, if Kay needs a break from cooking I can always bring
over a pot of chicken and noodles or a pot pie. Just let me know.
My
reply
My
dear daughter in the Lord,
It is
amazing to me that you'd think of me when you have such problems of
your own. I believe you are in the truest sense a Christian
Lady.
November
12, 2003
from
e-mail to family by Kay
David
went to Union Hospital Saturday with chest pain, Cath is scheduled
for Tuesday. Either they did not do enough the last time,
the existing stint may be a problem or something unforeseen
is causing more pain.
We
covet and give thanks for your prayers.
Kay
Becky’s
reply
Kay,
Thank
you for letting me know what is going on and how to pray. I find it
very interesting that David and I were in "surgery" at the
exact time on Tuesday.
December
23,2003
my
e-mail to Becky
My
dearest child,
Yesterday
you asked whether the Holy Spirit has given me any further word about
your family. Always take care about seeking only visible good
from a loving heavenly Father through whose permissive will comes
all we experience.
Recognize,
also, we live in a physical world, bound by time and space.
But He operates in a spiritual universe. None of us can
understand His Rhema word until willing to see spiritual truth and
meaning -- wherever that takes us.
That
said, all I can speak is what I believe the Lord gave me last
night concerning you: John 11.4, “When
Jesus heard that, he said, ‘This sickness is not unto death, but
for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified
thereby’”.
Becky’s
reply
David,
It
is so good to hear from you because I was worried about Sean putting
you in your car on Sunday. Are you feeling better? I really didn't
want him to let you drive off like that, but he told me that we were
both a lot alike. He called it stubborn. Ahh, we should rebel, but he
is probably right.
When
I asked you on Sunday about what God had told you. I guess I was just
confused. I remember about a month ago when I came into your store
and you told me to ask Pastor Tim about what God had told you about
our situation. I guess that I was kind of confused because I didn't
know if you had the same word that you had 3 1/2 years ago or if this
was something new. Since you wouldn't tell me in the store, I just
assumed it was something new that you didn't want to share with me at
that time.
I
just wanted to thank you again so much for that scripture and I will
treasure it. I know God can totally heal me at any time. I am sure
that you understand it is hard when you are in pain. I have been
having a lot of pain since last Friday afternoon. God is the only one
who can get me through this. It was all I could do to get up on stage
on Sunday. I felt like I didn't do a good job because I was so out of
my head. I didn't even practice once what I was going to
say before I even went up there. That is not like me at all. I had a
rough outline, but was hoping to be totally led by the Holy Spirit in
what to say. I hope something understandable came out of it and if
anything I did project peace to everyone.
Have
a great Christmas and don't overdue it. That could be a message to
both of us.
My
reply to Becky
Don't
worry too much about my heart problem. I've pretty much learned
my limits and what I can do….
What
I told Tim was the Sunday you missed church due to pain (something
I did not know at the time). I told him I'd asked the Lord what
about your situation would bring glory to Him -- illness, death,
healing? The very strong answer I received immediately was "her
faithfulness." Tim mentioned this in his sermon that
morning and I assumed he would tell you how you are glorifying God.
Becky’s
reply
Thanks
for your words. Pastor Tim didn't tell me that. Actually, we both
don't talk to one another very much. I think it is because we are
both quite people at heart and would rather go through life in the
shadows. I will be faithful to God no matter what. I hope that I am
glorifying God in it, but would you believe that there are still
people in our own family that still haven't given their lives to
Christ? I try my hardest, but no matter what I go through, they still
are stubborn when it comes to giving anything to God. I guess all I
can do is just keep praying for their salvation and witnessing to
them as best I can.
February
2, 2004
my
e-mail to Becky
My
beloved daughter in the Lord,
Sorry
I didn't get to talk to you yesterday. It occurred to me since
that it is unfortunate men are not allowed to chose their daughters
and sons-in-law. You and Sean would certainly be on my
list.
Becky’s
reply
David,
We
love you too. I guess since you included Sean on your list too that
you are actually coming to the point of accepting him then. Ha Ha. He
has been wonderful this week. Really pray for Sean because he has
been having to deal with so much lately since I haven't been feeling
very good. Thank goodness that Rockville Elementary School let him
have a couple of weeks off to take care of everything.
You
would probably find it hard to believe... I don't have a very good
relationship with [my father]. Sean had to finally say something to
my Dad to even get him to hug me or even say he loved me. So, my
dad is coming around lately. What can I say, but that I came
from a very unemotional family whose grandparents went through the
Depression. I sometimes wonder if totally understand how much God
loves me because I never got that at home. I know that they loved me,
but it just was never said or shown. I try not to project what I grew
up with on God, but it is hard. I know that other people had a lot
worse that I did growing up...
I
have asked Sean why he seems to be much more stable than I am with
emotions... His mother showered him with love that is for sure. It
was very hard when I married into his family. I often thought,
who in the world are these people who hug and kiss each other?
Well,
this e-mail went on way more than I thought it would. Sorry
about going on and on. Just know that we love you both very
much. We will just have to settle with ‘daughter in the Lord’
for my title. How are you doing this week?
It
was the last time I heard from my Becky, for now.
More
of her story at https://www.thebraziltimes.com/story/1238009.html